The Effects of Unhappy Marriages on Children
In the United States, statistically 37.6% of all marriages end in divorce, meaning that 1 in 3 of your peers could have divorced parents (Lazic 2022). The most common reason for divorce is the lack of commitment, specifically when children become involved. This leads to a popular divorce that has been brought up among pop-culture recently; Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s divorce. The four children that this couple had together will not go untouched from this divorce though, many children of divorce undergoing much pressure and trauma from their parents relationships.
Children have many situations going on in their lives such as school, sports, and even jobs, so when they are put in the situation of stress or pressure at home as well, it can break the camel's back. Throughout research, there has been a common conclusion that, “ divorce- /separation is associated with an increased risk for child and adolescent adjustment problems, including academic difficulties (e.g., lower grades and school dropout), disruptive behaviors (e.g., conduct and substance use problems), and depressed mood,” (NCBI 2019). With this many effects of divorce, it is hard for many spouses in an unhappy relationship to follow through with the separation. These risks can leave many children in therapy and with lifelong scarring. Many children write their college essays on their parents' separation as it is such a large moment and factor in their life. This leaves us curious of what would happen to the children if their parents were to not get divorced, but remain in an unhappy relationship.
Without wanting to put all of these issues upon their children, many unhappy couples stay together just for the benefit of their children. This may have even worse effects on the children as they are turned to to debrief the anger of their parents. The children of these said unhappy marriages can have a false sense of security leading to anxiety in worry in their day to day life, leaving them with permanent stress. Seeing their parents who are supposed to be their role models in these unhappy relationships can leave them searching for relationships too that turn out in the same negative sense. The younger children in these marriages are still undergoing childhood development, meaning they have a higher likelihood of developing behavioral issues alongside mental health issues as the children are always worried for themselves (Times 2021).
Even if you are in a strong held relationship family, it is important to be aware of your peers situations. Coming from a family with married parents it is still valuable to learn about situations that surround us. Even for people going into a marriage, discussing future aspirations and being on the same page of dedication can ensure future support throughout the relationship. Trying to put the children forward can help with their development, making sure the future generations are as well along and prepared as possible.
-Annika Deschler
Works Cited
“How An Unhealthy Marriage Affects Children.” Times of India, 22 July 2021, https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/toddler-year-and-beyond/how-an-unhealthy-marriage-affects-children/photostory/84630165.cms. Accessed 22 February 2023.
Lazic, Marija. “13 Devastating Children of Divorce Statistics.” Legal jobs, 19 October 2022, https://legaljobs.io/blog/children-of-divorce-statistics/. Accessed 22 February 2023.
“Parental divorce or separation and children's mental health.” NCBI, 2 January 2019, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6313686/. Accessed 22 February 2023.
This was a very interesting blog to read! I knew that the statistic for marriages that end in divorce in the U.S. would be high, but I think that it's interesting how you focused on the lesser discussed idea of staying together. Your mentioning of a child's "false sense of security" when having unhappy parents stood out to me. Children grow up thinking that their parent's unhappy relationship is the "end goal" and that they should attempt to have the same type of relationship, when in reality it will only lead them to repeating this cycle of unhappiness.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog!! You brought up a ton of awesome points that I hadn't really ever considered before. Having a difficult marriage in a family is almost always a sticky situation, and I think you did a great job unpacking it!
ReplyDeleteI can tell you've researched a lot about it. Your blog flows seamlessly between statistics and your writing! You brought up a lot of good points that I wouldn't of thought of before. Very eye opening blog!
ReplyDeleteReally interesting blog! I like how you talk about the different effects of both separation and staying together. The statistics were pretty eye-opening, even when I was expecting high numbers, and you do a great job of balancing stats and bringing it back to real-life situations.
ReplyDeleteYou picked an interesting topic to write a blog about. While it's obvious that kids with divorced parents are often in difficult situations, children in unhappy marriages aren't really talked about. The effects that you described are much more dramatic than I would have imagined, especially the school dropouts and substance abuse problems. Great blog!
ReplyDeleteI found your blog to be pretty fascinating. I appreciated how you discussed unhappy marriages and how they effect children. Generally, parents attempt to live with their unhappy marriage rather than getting a divorce, but you described how this might be harmful to the child, something I had never considered. Awesome Blog Post!
ReplyDeleteYou present a very overlooked perspective that I have only really seen represented in media, but never been able to hear about firsthand. I never really thought about all the things that children of unhappy marriages, not just divorces, struggle with. I was also surprised by the conclusions of the extensive research done on the topic! This was a very interesting and unique post!
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